I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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