Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
