plz talk dirty to me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize