You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dick very happy bro
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
