Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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