He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
