I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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