He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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