she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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