FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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