i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
