return my video game
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
