just tell him i said nine months
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
