when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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