He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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