i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
