Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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