i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
