Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize