Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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