Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
