well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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