I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
