STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
