Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
