I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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