She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
