So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
