we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
