lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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