there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
