I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize