if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
