do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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