id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
