i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
