i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
