apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
