weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize