can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize