It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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