just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just tell him i said nine months
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
