Cold hands, warm shart.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
