An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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