everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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