Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
