don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
