You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
