She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
