My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
