Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
