I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize