I just pynch a tree in the face
this boner is exhausting
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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