i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize