You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
