i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize