Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
